Three Tips For Taking A Children To A Funeral Service
Posted on: 6 January 2016
When you reach a point at which you plan to have your child accompany you to a funeral service, it's important to take this experience seriously. The somber nature of a funeral service can seem a little unnerving for children—and understandably so, as many adults find the experience somewhat uncomfortable, too. You can make the transition to attending the service easier by talking about death with your child in advance of the event. When the time comes to actually attend the funeral, here are three tips that can help make the experience as agreeable as possible for your child.
Talking About What To Say
Many children won't be sure how to articulate their feelings during the funeral, especially when it comes to offering a message of sympathy to the grieving family members. It's ideal to speak to your child about how to greet the family. While the exact message will vary according to the child's age, reinforce that the message doesn't have to be complicated or lengthy. The main priority is for your child to say that he or she is sorry for the family's loss and is thinking of the family at this time. Younger children can often offer a simpler message such as "I'm sorry" and a hug, if doing so is within their comfort zone and yours.
A Reminder Of How To Act
If there are other children attending the funeral, there might be a risk of the children playing together and possibly getting boisterous. Remind your child of the solemn nature of the occasion and stress the need for quiet and appropriate behavior. It's generally effective to ensure that you, a spouse, an older child or a different family member stays with the child at all times. Doing so will prevent the child from acting inappropriately, which can result from being nervous.
Consider The Grief Factor
While there's always a degree of grief at a funeral, certain services can be more solemn than others—for example, following the death of a child. If you anticipate that the service will have this nature, it's useful to think twice about including your child. While you might not want to insulate your child from the realities of life, you should keep in mind that being in a setting in which many adults are crying can be deeply disturbing to many children, especially if they haven't previously been exposed to such a situation. You know your child's personality best, so always think about the expected grief factor at the funeral before deciding to attend with your child.
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